Tag Archives: Woman
My wife is a Jedi Master. Her ability to manipulate me with her Jedi mind tricks is notorious and frankly, a little annoying. While I have no actual memory of her forced persuasion, I’m told it goes something like this.
Me: “I’m going to buy a couple of these cool shirts with the airbrushed wolves howling at the moon okay Sweetie?”
Wife: “These aren’t the shirts you’re looking for.” [Waves hand mysteriously in front of me]
Me: “These aren’t the shirts I’m looking for.”
Wife: “Move along.”
Shameful right? Well if you think that’s bad you should see how arguments with her go. No, really, you should see how arguments with her go and when you do please tell me about them; they’re all a blur for me except for the part at the end where I wind up taking her position.
As if all that isn’t bad enough, she’s taken on an apprentice. My daughter is now her official padawan and she’s already causing a great disturbance in the force. If her current ability to befuddle me grows any more, she may wind up being stronger than her Jedi mother. What will I do then? I’m tempted to take it up what I consider to be unethical behavior with the Jedi High Council but I’m a little embarrassed by the argument I’d be forced to make:
“Um, Your Jedinesses, I’d like to file a complaint about my wife and daughter using their Jedi powers on me; it’s not fair because I’m a creature of disorganized mental faculties.”
No, I think I just have to grin stupidly and bear it. Maybe it’s not all bad; we do get a magical number of free appetizers everywhere we go.