It’s happened. Not too long ago my son, all of seven years old, asked me if he could call me “Dad” instead of “Daddy”. He even had the temerity to ask me to refrain from calling myself “Daddy” in public. His shame would be irreversible he assured me. I should have known it was coming; I’d seen signs for some time. Earlier in the year I was walking past his classroom and called out to him and waved. He looked up briefly but dropped his eyes quickly and kept his hands on his desk. The boy sitting next to him happily waved back to me and gave me a huge grin. If that wasn’t enough, some time ago I told him that I loved him and, no kidding, his response was “uh okay, thanks.” Ugh, that smarts.
Yes, I know; all of this is supposed to happen but it doesn’t dull the pain of cold, hard realization. My son is growing up and it’s happening faster than I thought possible. He’s developing a sense of self and independence; he’s taking the first tentative steps into a world without me. It’s normal, it’s undoubtedly healthy but it’s killing me. There was a time when he was such a tender, affectionate boy. Now I get armless hugs and disdainful moans when I hold him a few seconds too long. Still, sometimes I see a glimpse of the boy that was. Tonight he asked me to help him with a Poptropica puzzle. We worked on the solution together and after I prodded he begrudgingly gave me a “thank you”. Then, for a second, he flashed me the smile. It was the real deal–full of love, appreciation and happiness. Nowadays these little moments are fleeting but they confirm that the little boy is still in there somewhere. It’s not a lot but I’ll take every single one of them.
27 Comments
Bamboo makes vegetal cages where the kids & birds feel free to express themselves
Super touching !
cute story and a fantastic image
Ugh. NO! I’m not ready! (Of course, Ez is 3, but still…)
nicely framed! a bit of a mystery ….
yes, and it’s faster than it used to be too. i called my father “daddy” until the day he died and never thought anything about it. our two oldest never expressed feelings like this, although at some point without saying anything, they changed to “dad” and mom” in public. matthew who is 19 years behind the first two has always been mindful of anything and everything. i think it’s a worsening society of children who have been forced to grow up fast and they are inflicting criticism on the minority of children who have two loving parents who could shelter them for a few more years. the mind of a child isn’t ready for all this. they feel the pain as much as we do, but they think it’s expected. of course i’m not informing you of anything you didn’t already know.
a fine image for today’s post.. dad sounds much cooler.. ;D
A very sensitive post, Christopher, as always on your page, and your photo is so meaningful in beautiful b&wtones… on the verge to leave the frame…
They absolutely do grow up so quickly. Having been in the position that you are experiencing, I can tell you that you and your son will both survive this. You might lose that openly adoring child, but you will gain the bond of son who also happens to be your friend. It all brings back memories.
Lovely image. Christopher, I’m a bit older than you and I can tell you that time goes by much too quickly, even more so as we age. Savor the moments. All of them.
Your word are out of the step with the times, children who grow, seek their own space, also i like the photo iy is very significant, in my opinion
Excellent shot!
The pains of growing up. IT is difficult on all, child and parent.
They do grow up so fast!! And – I consider myself lucky that my grown-up kids still call me ‘Mommy’. Not even ‘Mom’. It’s kind of nice..y’know?!?!
Very touching.
It’s just an “inbetweeny” stage…
He/we all need our space…a subtle approach and you’ll soon be best mates!
I often wondered why some kids (especially boys) go through this stage in life. I remeber I did as well.
I think most boys want the love from their parents, but society says it’s not a manly thing to do and as a result they ask their parents not to say “I love you” or not to come pick them up from school as they feel somewhat embarrassed. I remember I did, I think it’s a very European/North American thing for boys, the love is still there but society doesn’t encourage boys to seek it.
When I go to South Korea with Sue and spend time there I find it’s the opposite, teenage boys will happily go shopping with their mothers, play sports with their days and they will all have naps together on a rug in the living room which I found really strange to begin with, but it’s just a cultural thing. The love there is quite open.
Love is all around, it’s just expressed more subtley some places. I hope one day you both sit down together for a drink or dinner and he tells you about how his son is doing what he is doing now and you tell him he was just the same
Great photo as always. Guess I should have said that first.
Your picture is extraordinary. I know what you mean, I dearly miss my little boy, who is now 21, and our relationship is at best touch and go. It is a learning process for us both, so I am hoping times will get better in the future.
nice tones and contrasts.
Beautiful composition and b&w!
nicely captured!
That is growing up. My son is also seven and he feels embarassed to hold my hand. If I have to drop him to school, he would instinctivly hold my hand and as gets close to the gate, he leaves my hand.
I still get called Daddy, and I will hold on to that for as long as I can. My seven year old also plays poptropica.
Graphique et magnifique…
Très beau texte aussi.
so well done Christopher .. the image and the story
The photo — excellent. We’re looking in on childhood through the band sof a life long-lived. Memories flood back as we read your story. For me, after a while I changed it to Maman, a Frenchy more stylish version of Mommy; she still called me Mushipum until her dying day at the age of 79!
Love this!
Lovely textures and light in a great b&w.
The bamboo looks like japanese swords